August 20, 2011

Germedehomosapienphobia

Filed under: Cattle,Jaclyn Wilson,Life — Jaclyn @ 8:27 am

I made a discovery this last week…I’m afraid of germs.
The rancher that use to eat dog food, get moss stuck between her teeth from drinking out of the horse tank, and receiving lectures in the back yard because once again the Boss Man’s Wife caught me eating dirt is scared of a little microscopic critter. 

Considering my options were to either present the Boss Man with a bill for “Phobia Counseling”  or listen to what my own doctor (Dell Inspiron 1526) had to say, I wagered the second option would give me a little more compassion and alot less hassle.  My Dr. Internet told me I first needed to deduce where my phobia originated from….so I made myself a checklist.

1.  How are you feeling?  Well I’m feeling pretty good, except I think I have a phobia.

2.  Tell me the first thought that enters your mind when you hear the following…

     -working cattle and stopping for lunch without washing?   Um ecoli prevention

     -slicing an abscess on a feedlot steer?  Don’t get any on my boot because the dogs will follow me all afternoon

     -heifer blowing snot in my face?  No bull ring can match my thumb and middle finger

     -Dead animal in the pasture?  Wonder how many maggots I’m going to have to flick off the eartag

     -Shaking hands at the fair while judging?  I bet they just wiped their nose, where’s the hand santizer

     -Getting a cold?  I think the Boss Man brought something home from town

    -Sewing up a prolapse?  I wonder what the Boss Man’s Wife is making for lunch

     -Having a PA tell you that you have the human equivalent of hoof and mouth?  Thank goodness it’s not Mad Heifer

     -Being sneezed on?  Where’s the disenfectant

Well, I analyzed the data, the results were pretty staggering.  Eating a raw egg, while pulling a slug off my foot when  cleaning out the AI box is no big deal.  But put me in the vicinity of a used kleenex, I start sweating and shaking.  I just thought the Boss Man had been using this as an excuse to get out of “socializing” for many years, but I think him and I both suffer from the same phobia…Germedehomosapienphobia.  And that my friends is Jac’d Up! 

 

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